Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Forget the war on terrorism we now have a war on Pirates!

Pirates – scary huh? So scary the planet suddenly needs to send most of the worlds navy’s there to battle small boat loads of half starved men armed with a couple of Ak-47’s, let’s nuke the fuckers! Let’s teach them that while they watch the blood oil being sucked out of their region to feed greedy western lifestyles which they see no recompense for aside from us propping up the regions most brutal regimes, that they are supposed to shut up and lump it.

I don’t wish to be facetious BUT has it occurred to anyone that perhaps the west might have had a hand in the creation of these pirates – I know, I know, how could I make such a claim, don’t I understand that ‘we’ are the good guys? The West are so righteous and good and sexy, how could the West be blamed for these terrors of the deep? Weeeeeel, I’m no expert BUT perhaps if we had a wee gander at how the West has behaved with Somalia since the collapse in 1991 when 9 million people were suddenly thrown in the deep end and have been close to starvation ever since.

Let’s start with our raping and pillaging (almost pirate behaviour isn’t it) of Somalia’s seafood, $300million a year are stolen from Somalia’s waters, but that’s not piracy, that’s lunch buddy! The transition from fisherman to pirate can’t be too difficult when the west have stripped their waters of anything edible, and what about our dumping of nuclear waste in Somalian waters? As the ever brilliant Johann Hari point’s out…

Yes: nuclear waste. As soon as the government was gone (in 1991), mysterious European ships started appearing off the coast of Somalia, dumping vast barrels into the ocean. The coastal population began to sicken. At first they suffered strange rashes, nausea and malformed babies. Then, after the 2005 tsunami, hundreds of the dumped and leaking barrels washed up on shore. People began to suffer from radiation sickness, and more than 300 died. Ahmedou Ould-Abdallah, the UN envoy to Somalia, tells me: "Somebody is dumping nuclear material here. There is also lead, and heavy metals such as cadmium and mercury - you name it." Much of it can be traced back to European hospitals and factories, who seem to be passing it on to the Italian mafia to "dispose" of cheaply. When I asked Ould-Abdallah what European governments were doing about it, he said with a sigh: "Nothing. There has been no clean-up, no compensation, and no prevention."

…ha ha ha, hilarious hu, we strip their waters of fish and dump nuclear waste and then get huffy when one American captain gets attacked by hungry fisherman – HAHAHAHAHA – great.

But let’s not hurt peoples minds by demanding we go all the way back to 1991 to try and get a grip on why Somalian’s might not have the infrstructure in place to help up-skill hungry fishermen who can’t catch anything because we strip them of their food while poisoning them with nuclear waste, let’s just have a wee gander at what America has secretly been doing to help re-build Somalia.

Because America can’t tell the difference between ‘Muslim’ and ‘Terrorist’, in 2006 the American’s backed Somalian warlords who butcher and murder (think of them as land pirates) over the Union of Islamic Courts in one of the worst CIA blowbacks since they funded Osama Bin Laden. Once the local population realized the American’s were backing the bloodthirsty war lords, the Union of Islamic Courts received mass popular support and they overthrew the land pirates, and it created for the first time since 1991 a level of stability without the terror of the warlords - now go and guess what America did next, go on, you’ll laugh, did they..

a) Accept they cocked it up and probably never should’ve backed the warlords and that the stability the Union of Islamic Courts created a unqiue situation which could be built upon


b) Give vast military backing to Ethiopia to invade and start a new war?

COME ON DOWN B – that’s right, the fucking American’s backed Ethiopia and launched a war, and we wonder why there are no training polytechs to retrain fishermen.

But it get’s funnier, so let’s put aside the over fishing, the dumping of nuclear waste, the support of warlords and the invoking of a war, how about civilian death from remote control?

January 9th, 2007 and the American’s launched a remote controlled X-box 360 attack on terrorists in Somalia because they had CREDIBLE EVIDENCE. At the time I critiqued America’s CREDIBLE EVIDENCE…

Oh, I get it now, America had ‘CREDIBLE EVIDENCE’ that the people they blew up and killed in Somalia (in what amounts to an illegal military action on the soil of another country) were involved in American Embassy bombings – and I suppose I should just believe you shouldn’t I America. I mean I should ignore the fact that the Union of Islamic Courts wouldn’t have taken over if you hadn’t supported the Warlords last year and that this is just another fucking example of America playing God in third world countries, and I suppose I should just accept this ‘credible evidence’ the same way we had to when you told the world you had ‘credible evidence’ that Saddam had WMDs, and that you had ‘credible evidence’ Iraq had something to do with 9/11 and that you had ‘credible evidence’ to declare ‘Mission was accomplished’ and ‘major military battle in Iraq were over’ and that you had ‘credible evidence’ catching Saddam would be the ‘turning point in Iraq’, oh and let’s not forget the ‘credible evidence’ that hanging Saddam would also ‘turn a corner in Iraq’ - I’m sorry America, with you poised to surge more young men to their death in Iraq, you no longer have any credibility in this war of errorism.

…so what was the outcome of these Somalian ‘terrorists’? Less than 5 days later the American’s were admitting they weren’t who they thought they were after all. Hilarious.

Okay so let’s forget the fact we strip their seas of food, let’s forget the fact that we dump nuclear waste in their seas, let’s forget the fact that the American’s backed the bloodthirsty land pirate warlords, let’s forget the fact that the Union of Islamic Courts brought about the first stability since 1991 and let’s forget the American’s invoked a war to get rid of that stability and let’s forget that America has been mistakenly blowing up civilians via remote control for sometime – LET’S FORGET ALL THOSE MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES which may explain why starving impoverished men would jump in tiny boats and dare show any resistance. Let’s instead do a big song and dance about pirates, fuck the facts and our role as the West in bringing about their misery, let’s just go on and on and on about bloody pirates.


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