Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Top 10 doublespeak definitions for the War in Gaza from the Israeli Embassy

Cease-Fire: Can’t be done, impossible, no way, how dare you even suggest it, are you friends with Mel Gibson?

Sustainable Cease-fire: We’ll give your boys another 10 days to decimate Gaza after it had just managed to recover from the last time we invaded and raped it, as long as it is sustainable.

48 Hour Ceasefire: Doh, the army has killed a lot of kids this time, we need 48 hours for the media to focus on something else so we can get back to it.

Self-defense: Taking an eye for most of your face, including blowing up your home, economic crucifixtion and group punishment. Plus burning down any of your pets homes, you never know how many pets later become Hamas agents.

Justified Response: Bringing a laser guided phosphorus bunker busting missile to a knife fight.

Hamas Target: This can be anything from bridges, apartment buildings, grain carrying trucks and Flour mills. Oh and apparently UN schools filled with children count as well.

Pathology of war: Either The Israeli self-image of rationality, self-confidence, restraint, pragmatism, and marshal moral superiority are delusions and myths, constructed to protect the Israeli psyche, manipulated by the state to keep alive the specter of existential terror in the Israeli public and to disguise the state's raison d'etre, expansion and ethnic cleansing in Palestine OR This is all about the return glorified sky rockets that have only killed 4 people.

UN Schools: Even if you’ve called our friendly 0800 ‘Your bombing me by mistake’ Israeli Defense hotline 10 times screaming for us to stop aiming at you, I’m afraid you could be a camouflaged Hamas Target. And the last thing we need when we are committing a dirty war on the flimsiest of excuses, is the international community.

UN Resolution: To be ignored and belittled and labeled as unbalanced, bordering on anti-Semitic. Put out press releases suggesting Mel Gibson wants to replace the UN Secretary General.

International condemnation: To be shrugged off with the same disdain the United States showed the world when it invaded Iraq. Suggest Mel Gibson has something to do with it.

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